Death of Bessie Smith, the Sandbox, and the American Dream Read online

  You forget yourself, Mommy; I’m a professional woman. But I will cross my legs.

  DADDY

  Yes, make yourself comfortable.

  MRS. BARKER

  I don’t mind if I do.

  GRANDMA

  Are they still here?

  MOMMY

  Be quiet, Grandma.

  MRS. BARKER

  Oh, we’re still here. My, what an unattractive apartment you have!

  MOMMY

  Yes, but you don’t know what a trouble it is. Let me tell you …

  DADDY

  I was saying to Mommy …

  MRS. BARKER

  Yes, I know. I was listening outside.

  DADDY

  About the icebox, and … the doorbell … and the …

  MRS. BARKER

  … and the johnny. Yes, we’re very efficient; we have to know everything in our work.

  DADDY

  Exactly what do you do?

  MOMMY

  Yes, what is your work?

  MRS. BARKER

  Well, my dear, for one thing, I’m chairman of your woman’s club.

  MOMMY

  Don’t be ridiculous. I was talking to the chairman of my woman’s club just yester— Why, so you are. You remember, Daddy, the lady I was telling you about? The lady with the husband who sits in the swing? Don’t you remember?

  DADDY

  No … no …

  MOMMY

  Of course you do. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Barker. I would have known you anywhere, except in this artificial light. And look! You have a hat just like the one I bought yesterday.

  MRS. BARKER

  (With a little laugh)

  No, not really; this hat is cream.

  MOMMY

  Well, my dear, that may look like a cream hat to you, but I can …

  MRS. BARKER

  Now, now; you seem to forget who I am.

  MOMMY

  Yes, I do, don’t I? Are you sure you’re comfortable? Won’t you take off your dress?

  MRS. BARKER

  I don’t mind if I do.

  (She removes her dress)

  MOMMY

  There. You must feel a great deal more comfortable.

  MRS. BARKER

  Well, I certainly look a great deal more comfortable.

  DADDY

  I’m going to blush and giggle.

  MOMMY

  Daddy’s going to blush and giggle.

  MRS. BARKER

  (Pulling the hem of her slip above her knees)

  You’re lucky to have such a man for a husband.

  MOMMY

  Oh, don’t I know it!

  DADDY

  I just blushed and giggled and went sticky wet.

  MOMMY

  Isn’t Daddy a caution, Mrs. Barker?

  MRS. BARKER

  Maybe if I smoked …?

  MOMMY

  Oh, that isn’t necessary.

  MRS. BARKER

  I don’t mind if I do.

  MOMMY

  No; no, don’t. Really.

  MRS. BARKER

  I don’t mind …

  MOMMY

  I won’t have you smoking in my house, and that’s that! You’re a professional woman.

  DADDY

  Grandma drinks AND smokes; don’t you, Grandma?

  GRANDMA

  No.

  MOMMY

  Well, now, Mrs. Barker; suppose you tell us why you’re here.

  GRANDMA

  (As MOMMY walks through the boxes)

  The boxes … the boxes …

  MOMMY

  Be quiet, Grandma.

  DADDY

  What did you say, Grandma!

  GRANDMA

  (As MOMMY steps on several of the boxes)

  The boxes, damn it!

  MRS. BARKER

  Boxes; she said boxes. She mentioned the boxes.

  DADDY

  What about the boxes, Grandma? Maybe Mrs. Barker is here because of the boxes. Is that what you meant, Grandma?

  GRANDMA

  I don’t know if that’s what I meant or not. It’s certainly not what I thought I meant.

  DADDY

  Grandma is of the opinion that …

  MRS. BARKER

  Can we assume that the boxes are for us? I mean, can we assume that you had us come here for the boxes?

  MOMMY

  Are you in the habit of receiving boxes?

  DADDY

  A very good question.

  MRS. BARKER

  Well, that would depend on the reason we’re here. I’ve got my fingers in so many little pies, you know. Now, I can think of one of my little activities in which we are in the habit of receiving baskets; but more in a literary sense than really. We might receive boxes, though, under very special circumstances. I’m afraid that’s the best answer I can give you.

  DADDY

  It’s a very interesting answer.

  MRS. BARKER

  I thought so. But, does it help?

  MOMMY

  No; I’m afraid not.

  DADDY

  I wonder if it might help us any if I said I feel misgivings, that I have definite qualms.

  MOMMY

  Where, Daddy?

  DADDY

  Well, mostly right here, right around where the stitches were.

  MOMMY

  Daddy had an operation, you know.

  MRS. BARKER

  Oh, you poor Daddy! I didn’t know; but then, how could I?

  GRANDMA

  You might have asked; it wouldn’t have hurt you.

  MOMMY

  Dry up, Grandma.

  GRANDMA

  There you go. Letting your true feelings come out. Old people aren’t dry enough, I suppose. My sacks are empty, the fluid in my eyeballs is all caked on the inside edges, my spine is made of sugar candy, I breathe ice; but you don’t hear me complain. Nobody hears old people complain because people think that’s all old people do. And that’s because old people are gnarled and sagged and twisted into the shape of a complaint.

  (Signs off)

  That’s all.

  MRS. BARKER

  What was wrong, Daddy?

  DADDY

  Well, you know how it is: the doctors took out something that was there and put in something that wasn’t there. An operation.

  MRS. BARKER

  You’re very fortunate, I should say.

  MOMMY

  Oh, he is; he is. All his life, Daddy has wanted to be a United States Senator; but now … why now he’s changed his mind, and for the rest of his life he’s going to want to be Governor … it would be nearer the apartment, you know.

  MRS. BARKER

  You are fortunate, Daddy.

  DADDY

  Yes, indeed; except that I get these qualms now and then, definite ones.

  MRS. BARKER

  Well, it’s just a matter of things settling; you’re like an old house.

  MOMMY

  Why Daddy, thank Mrs. Barker.

  DADDY

  Thank you.

  MRS. BARKER

  Ambition! That’s the ticket. I have a brother who’s very much like you, Daddy … ambitious. Of course, he’s a great deal younger than you; he’s even younger than I am … if such a thing is possible. He runs a little newspaper. Just a little newspaper … but he runs it. He’s chief cook and bottle washer of that little newspaper, which he calls The Village Idiot. He has such a sense of humor; he’s so self-deprecating, so modest. And he’d never admit it himself, but he is the Village Idiot.

  MOMMY

  Oh, I think that’s just grand. Don’t you think so, Daddy?

  DADDY

  Yes, just grand.

  MRS. BARKER

  My brother’s a dear man, and he has a dear little wife, whom he loves, dearly. He loves her so much he just can’t get a sentence out without mentioning her. He wants everybody to know he’s married. He’s really a stickler on that point; he can’t be
introduced to anybody and say hello without adding, “Of course, I’m married.” As far as I’m concerned, he’s the chief exponent of Woman Love in this whole country; he’s even been written up in psychiatric journals because of it.

  DADDY

  Indeed!

  MOMMY

  Isn’t that lovely.

  MRS. BARKER

  Oh, I think so. There’s too much woman hatred in this country, and that’s a fact.

  GRANDMA

  Oh, I don’t know.

  MOMMY

  Oh, I think that’s just grand. Don’t you think so, Daddy?

  DADDY

  Yes, just grand.

  GRANDMA

  In case anybody’s interested …

  MOMMY

  Be quiet, Grandma.

  GRANDMA

  Nuts!

  MOMMY

  Oh, Mrs. Barker, you must forgive Grandma. She’s rural.

  MRS. BARKER

  I don’t mind if I do.

  DADDY

  Maybe Grandma has something to say.

  MOMMY

  Nonsense. Old people have nothing to say; and if old people did have something to say, nobody would listen to them.

  (To GRANDMA)

  You see? I can pull that stuff just as easy as you can.

  GRANDMA

  Well, you got the rhythm, but you don’t really have the quality. Besides, you’re middle-aged.

  MOMMY

  I’m proud of it!

  GRANDMA

  Look. I’ll show you how it’s really done. Middle-aged people think they can do anything, but the truth is that middle-aged people can’t do most things as well as they used to. Middle-aged people think they’re special because they’re like everybody else. We live in the age of deformity. You see? Rhythm and content. You’ll learn.

  DADDY

  I do wish I weren’t surrounded by women; I’d like some men around here.

  MRS. BARKER

  You can say that again!

  GRANDMA

  I don’t hardly count as a woman, so can I say my piece?

  MOMMY

  Go on. Jabber away.

  GRANDMA

  It’s very simple; the fact is, these boxes don’t have anything to do with why this good lady is come to call. Now, if you’re interested in knowing why these boxes are here …

  MOMMY

  Well, nobody is interested!

  GRANDMA

  You can be as snippety as you like for all the good it’ll do you.

  DADDY

  You two will have to stop arguing.

  MOMMY

  I don’t argue with her.

  DADDY

  It will just have to stop.

  MOMMY

  Well, why don’t you call a van and have her taken away?

  GRANDMA

  Don’t bother; there’s no need.

  DADDY

  No, now, perhaps I can go away myself. …

  MOMMY

  Well, one or the other; the way things are now it’s impossible. In the first place, it’s too crowded in this apartment.

  (To GRANDMA)

  And it’s you that takes up all the space, with your enema bottles, and your Pekinese, and God-only-knows-what-else … and now all these boxes. …

  GRANDMA

  These boxes are …

  MRS. BARKER

  I’ve never heard of enema bottles …

  GRANDMA

  She means enema bags, but she doesn’t know the difference. Mommy comes from extremely bad stock. And besides, when Mommy was born … well, it was a difficult delivery, and she had a head shaped like a banana.

  MOMMY

  You ungrateful—Daddy? Daddy, you see how ungrateful she is after all these years, after all the things we’ve done for her?

  (To GRANDMA)

  One of these days you’re going away in a van; that’s what’s going to happen to you!

  GRANDMA

  Do tell!

  MRS. BARKER

  Like a banana?

  GRANDMA

  Yup, just like a banana.

  MRS. BARKER

  My word!

  MOMMY

  You stop listening to her; she’ll say anything. just the other night she called Daddy a hedgehog.

  MRS. BARKER

  She didn’t!

  GRANDMA

  That’s right, baby; you stick up for me.

  MOMMY

  I don’t know where she gets the words; on the television, maybe.

  MRS. BARKER

  Did you really call him a hedgehog?

  GRANDMA

  Oh look; what difference does it make whether I did or not?

  DADDY

  Grandma’s right. Leave Grandma alone.

  MOMMY

  (To DADDY)

  How dare you!

  GRANDMA

  Oh, leave her alone, Daddy; the kid’s all mixed up.

  MOMMY

  You see? I told you. It’s all those television shows. Daddy, you go right into Grandma’s room and take her television and shake all the tubes loose.

  DADDY

  Don’t mention tubes to me.

  MOMMY

  Oh! Mommy forgot!

  (To MRS. BARKER )

  Daddy has tubes now, where he used to have tracts.

  MRS. BARKER

  Is that a fact!

  GRANDMA

  I know why this dear lady is here.

  MOMMY

  You be still.

  MRS. BARKER

  Oh, I do wish you’d tell me.

  MOMMY

  No! No! That wouldn’t be fair at all.

  DADDY

  Besides, she knows why she’s here; she’s here because we called them.

  MRS. BARKER

  La! But that still leaves me puzzled. I know I’m here because you called us, but I’m such a busy girl, with this committee and that committee, and the Responsible Citizens Activities I indulge in.

  MOMMY

  Oh my; busy, busy.

  MRS. BARKER

  Yes, indeed. So I’m afraid you’ll have to give me some help.

  MOMMY

  Oh, no. No, you must be mistaken. I can’t believe we asked you here to give you any help. With the way taxes are these days, and the way you can’t get satisfaction in ANYTHING … no, I don’t believe so.

  DADDY

  And if you need help … why, I should think you’d apply for a Fulbright Scholarship. …

  MOMMY

  And if not that … why, then a Guggenheim Fellowship. …

  GRANDMA

  Oh, come on; why not shoot the works and try for the Prix de Rome.

  (Under her breath to MOMMY and DADDY)

  Beasts!

  MRS. BARKER

  Oh, what a jolly family. But let me think. I’m knee-deep in work these days; there’s the Ladies’ Auxiliary Air Raid Committee, for one thing; how do you feel about air raids?

  MOMMY

  Oh, I’d say we’re hostile.

  DADDY

  Yes, definitely; we’re hostile.

  MRS. BARKER

  Then, you’ll be no help there. There’s too much hostility in the world these days as it is; but I’ll not badger you! There’s a surfeit of badgers as well.

  GRANDMA

  While we’re at it, there’s been a run on old people, too. The Department of Agriculture, or maybe it wasn’t the Department of Agriculture—anyway, it was some department that’s run by a girl—put out figures showing that ninety per cent of the adult population of the country is over eighty years old … or eighty per cent is over ninety years old …

  MOMMY

  You’re such a liar! You just finished saying that everyone is middle-aged.

  GRANDMA

  I’m just telling you what the government says … that doesn’t have anything to do with what …

  MOMMY

  It’s that television! Daddy, go break her television.

  GRANDMA

  You won’
t find it.

  DADDY

  (Wearily getting up)

  If I must … I must.

  MOMMY

  And don’t step on the Pekinese; it’s blind.

  DADDY

  It may be blind, but Daddy isn’t.

  (He exits, through the archway, stage-left)

  GRANDMA

  You won’t find it, either.

  MOMMY

  Oh, I’m so fortunate to have such a husband. Just think: I could have a husband who was poor, or argumentative, or a husband who sat in a wheelchair all day … OOOOHHHH! What have I said? What have I said?

  GRANDMA

  You said you could have a husband who sat in a wheel …

  MOMMY

  I’m mortified! I could die! I could cut my tongue out! I could …

  MRS. BARKER

  (Forcing a smile)

  Oh, now … now … don’t think about it …

  MOMMY

  I could … why, I could …

  MRS. BARKER

  … don’t think about it … really …

  MOMMY

  You’re quite right. I won’t think about it, and that way I’ll forget that I ever said it, and that way it will be all right.

  (Pause)

  There … I’ve forgotten. Well, now, now that Daddy is out of the room we can have some girl talk.

  MRS. BARKER

  I’m not sure that I …

  MOMMY

  You do want to have some girl talk, don’t you?

  MRS. BARKER

  I was going to say I’m not sure that I wouldn’t care for a glass of water. I feel a little faint.

  MOMMY

  Grandma, go get Mrs. Barker a glass of water.

  GRANDMA

  Go get it yourself. I quit.

  MOMMY

  Grandma loves to do little things around the house; it gives her a false sense of security.

  GRANDMA

  I quit! I’m through!

  MOMMY

  Now, you be a good Grandma, or you know what will happen to you. You’ll be taken away in a van.

  GRANDMA

  You don’t frighten me. I’m too old to be frightened. Besides …

  MOMMY

  WELL! I’ll tend to you later. I’ll hide your teeth … I’ll …

  GRANDMA

  Everything’s hidden.

  MRS. BARKER

  I am going to faint. I am.

  MOMMY

  Good heavens! I’ll go myself.

  (As she exits, through the archway, stage-left)

  I’ll fix you, Grandma. I’ll take care of you later.

  (She exits)

  GRANDMA

  Oh, go soak your head.

  (To MRS. BARKER )

  Well, dearie, how do you feel?

  MRS. BARKER

  A little better, I think. Yes, much better, thank you, Grandma.

  GRANDMA

  That’s good.

  MRS. BARKER

  But … I feel so lost … not knowing why I’m here … and, on top of it, they say I was here before.

  GRANDMA

  Well, you were. You weren’t here, exactly, because we’ve moved around a lot, from one apartment to another, up and down the social ladder like mice, if you like similes.